7 Tips to Stay Away from Needless Fights When Going Through a Divorce


Divorce is never an easy decision, but it can be even more difficult when children are involved. Many stressful things can happen during a divorce, but parents are also concerned about how their split will affect their kids. It is a common concern about whether kids will suffer harm if they see their parents fighting in front of them. There are ways to minimize the negative impact of fighting on your children while protecting yourself from unnecessary fights. Most people contact a family lawyer when going through a divorce. The family lawyer can help you out and guide you on how to handle yourself during this tough time.

Read on to find out how you can make the transition through your divorce as smooth as possible.

1. Understand Your Triggers

You need to know what triggers the fights in the first place before you can avoid them. When it comes to finances or parenting decisions, do your spouse, and you tend to argue more? Knowing what triggers your reactions allows you to take steps to avoid those situations in the future. It would be best to express yourself calmly and clearly when angry with your spouse whenever they do not listen to you. The other thing you can do is walk away until you’ve calmed down.

There are a number of ways that you and your spouse can understand what triggers you both:

  • Each of you should be able to talk openly about what sets the other off
  • Keep an eye out for patterns in the fights you engage in
  • If you are having trouble identifying your triggers, talk to a therapist
  • Watch out for red flags when talking to someone

If things get too heated, you might want to take a break

2. Avoid Personal Attacks

If you find yourself in the trap of attacking your spouse personally from time to time, then you will only be making matters worse by doing so. In addition to the fact that they are hurtful and damaging, personal attacks are also unproductive. They will only lead to other arguments instead of solving the problem.

3. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries with your ex-spouse is also one of the most important steps you need to take. As a result of this agreement, the two parties agree not to discuss certain topics or discuss them in a particular manner. If you would like to agree not to talk about your divorce in front of your children, for example, you may wish to do so. It would also be helpful if both of you agreed not to disparage each other in front of your children. In the event that you cannot agree on something, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go to court. It will make it easier for both of you to make a clear decision that both of you have to follow.

4. Keep Communication Clear and Concise

It is important to keep communication between you and your ex-spouse as clear and concise as possible. That way, you are less likely to lead to misunderstandings or arguments in the future. Furthermore, it is also important to spell out exactly what you are looking for or need. You should include the reasons why you believe a change in parenting time is necessary, for example, if you are asking for it.

5. Don’t Try to Handle Everything Yourself

In the heat of the moment, it can seem appealing to try to get everything done on your own, but this is rarely possible or desirable. Trying to do too much during a stressful time will also lead to mistakes and a lot of arguments, in addition to causing stress. It is best to ask for help when you need it and delegate tasks as required. In situations like this, close friends and family are usually eager to lend a helping hand. You can also take guidance from your family lawyer to make this time easier for you.

6. Seek Professional Help if Necessary

It may be beneficial to seek the help of a professional if things are getting out of hand. If you are going through a difficult time, you may be able to find guidance and support from a therapist. During this time, you will also be able to work through the anger or resentment that has been building up inside of you.

You might be able to get some help from a therapist when you talk to them. They may make sure that you are safe, and if anything goes wrong, they can detect it. If your feelings are bad or hurt, they will try to help you.

7. Talk to a Family Lawyer

It is best to consult a family lawyer if you cannot agree with your spouse. Some professionals can give you advice on how to resolve your issues and decide on a plan that’s ideal for your family. You can also get help preparing for court if the situation reaches that point as well.


There is nothing easy about the decision to divorce, but it can be even more challenging when there are children involved in the proceedings. In addition to the emotional stress of a divorce, parents have to worry about how their split will affect their kids. One common concern is whether fighting in front of the children will cause them harm. Fortunately, there are ways to protect yourself from needless fights and minimize the impact on your kids like contacting a family lawyer, communicating clearly, and more.. By avoiding needless fights and communicating effectively, you can minimize the impact on your kids and make the transition smoother for everyone involved. Following these tips can help make the process a little bit easier.

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Written by: the Divorce Fast Team

Our team of Ontario lawyers has over 15 years of experience handling divorce and other family law matters.

All of our lawyers are in good standing with the Law Society of Ontario, and have the knowledge and experience to help and guide you through your family law issues. Whether your matter pertains to divorce, separation, custody/access, or support claims, we are the firm for you.

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