How to Be Emotionally Prepared to File for Divorce
Divorce is a life-changing incident, so you need to have a clear mind when planning yours. Here are some essential tips for managing your emotions so you can make sound, legitimate long-term decisions
Be Assured That You’ve Tried Everything to Make Your Marriage Work
Before you break down your marriage, be honest and ask yourself if there’s any option left to save it. You don’t want to look at the past years from now and wish you’d gone to couple’s therapy or dealt with your issues before filing for divorce. While leaving a marriage can be difficult, it will go a lot smoother if you feel a sense of closure later in life.
Commit 100% to Moving Forward
You’ve realized that there’s nothing left in your marriage so filing for divorce is the only way to move forward. Once you have made up your mind, go through the legal phases included in the divorce procedure with as much of a business-like behavior as possible. This doesn’t mean that you won’t feel sadness, anxiety, grief, or anger. But if you let these emotions overwhelm you as you follow the legal steps of getting a divorce, you could end up making long-term decisions that will hurt you and your children and/or victimize an already adverse ex.
Accept That There Will be Bad Days Ahead
Growth means learning to accept feelings that may appear to be unbearable. Trying to anesthetize yourself with food, alcohol, non-prescription drugs, or sex with an anonymous person will make you feel terrible in the end, hold up your divorce, improve your parenting ability, and focus on what needs to be done.
Start taking care of yourself before the legal process gets underway. Exercise, eat right, work on your coping skills by seeing a therapist, and clear your mind to the best of your ability. If you can’t eat, sleep, or breathe properly, you’re not able to make good decisions, so do everything you need to do to feel better.
Give Yourself a Divorce Break
Thinking about your divorce 24/7 won’t make it go any faster, but it will make you, and your friends, unhappy! Enforce a “No Divorce Zone.” Set limits on times that you speak with your spouse and attorney, for instance, no communications beyond limits. Try to give yourself enough blocks of time to concentrate on your kids, friends, and your own care. Give yourself regular divorce breaks will help you to live in the present and make more valid decisions.
Going through a divorce can be extremely taxing on one’s emotions. While it can be overwhelming, especially if it’s a contested divorce, an uncontested divorce can be just as difficult. It’s important to be mindful of your actions and understand what they’re telling you. In the midst of emotional distress, the best way to start is to make conscious, deliberate decisions that lead to happier, healthier future.
Written by: the Divorce Fast Team
Our team of Ontario lawyers has over 15 years of experience handling divorce and other family law matters.
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